It’s not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.


I’ve been asked a few times by my non-runner friends what the hell I think about when I run. I suppose the idea of nothing but the road and your head for an hour and sometimes 2 hours can seem like maybe a bit too much for some. But for me- I crave it. My brother sent me this quote the other day saying that it reminded him of me- “It’s a treat being a runner, out in the world by yourself with not a soul to make you bad-tempered or tell you what to do.” I am sure there is a joke or two in there but for me it is really true. It’s MY time. My time to think, to dream and to just experience nothing for a bit. I don’t think my mind has ever been more clear or focused over this last 6 months. So just what the hell do I think about!??!  Sometimes I get caught up in thinking about the past. I think about all the things that have brought me to this moment. The good, the bad- and sometimes I even feel like for the first time I am letting it all go. I am able to come to terms with some things I wish had worked out differently. There are some moments where I just exhale and thank God for all the blessings in my life. The things he has brought me through and the life he brought me to. Sometimes I will envision the things I want in my future, the people I want around me, the things I want to accomplish and how incredible it will feel. And I smile knowing that I can make it all happen.  I think of the people in my life- past and present that I wish could feel this incredible gift.  The ones that I wish loved themselves as much as I love them. I say a prayer that they will someday find their passion, their happy and finally be at peace.  I think about the places I want to travel, the people I hope I meet along the way- the experiences that await me. I think of all the good things I hope come into Caden’s life as he gets older. I say a prayer that he can find his way a little easier than I did. I envision all the incredible things he will accomplish. I think about the people in my life that have passed away and sometimes I even feel them with me.  And I’ll admit it sometimes I start thinking- what the hell am I doing? Oh yeah- right foot, left foot- F*** my hip hurts. Am I limping? What the hell is with my stride today? Shit, I forgot to go to the store. What am I cooking for dinner?!? But I try to snap myself back out of it and remember that these moments are MY moments. Everything else can wait, it will be there when I get back- that I am sure of. Until then- just smile, dream- and breathe. Right foot, left foot……..

It’s All About The Shoes

As any girl knows the best outfits are all about the shoes! And when it comes to running- this is true as well.

For starters, I’m an over pronator- probably caused by my morton toe which is a whole different subject……

When it comes to running shoes and inserts- I’ve tried my fair share. I’ve even tried shoes with a roll bar that really looked like more of a moon shoe. I finally thought I had struck gold when Nike came out with the Lunarglide which was for over pronators. Finally a shoe with some style options!! I added the superfeet insoles and I was on my way to running- a mile or two. To be honest I wasn’t interested in running much further. Running wasn’t my sport. I would always finish a few miles cussing to myself and limping all the way home and then rolling my arches out on some roller ball.

Upon returning from Thailand I had decided to start doing things that scared me. Things that pushed me out of my comfort zone. I needed to be challenged. So at the suggestion of my lovely friend Lora, we signed up for the Rock N Roll half marathon. Neat. I remember our first run together I think I was lagging behind her at an 11 minute mile and I only made it to 2 miles before I was done. Just as I remembered- running was NOT my sport. But this was what it was supposed to be- hard. I convinced myself if nothing else I would gain those killer runner legs and THIS was my motivation. Purely superficial.

Toward the end of training for RnR AZ a girlfriend suggested that I read “Born to Run”. This book would change the way I saw running forever, she claimed. And Tina Rusher- you were right! If you ever read one book on running- this is it! This book made me want to be a runner!! I actually started running just for the fun of it (and maybe still the idea of runner’s legs). After I finished the book I decided to put the “barefoot running” theory to test that was talked about a lot throughout the book. I started researching and reading reviews and settled on trying the Merrell Bare Access Arc 2. They had a vibram sole which was perfect since I love trail running when the desert heat will allow it. I couldn’t believe how light they were. It hardly felt like I was wearing a shoe. My first 4 mile trail run I took 12 minutes off my time. Yes, you read that right. I couldn’t believe I went from wearing moon shoes with inserts to barely anything!

I’ve been running in Merrells since January and have yet to have a single foot or leg pain. I ran another half  6weeks after RnR and took 8 minutes off my time. And I have to say, it’s all about the shoes. merrells

I’m not saying what works for me works for everyone. But, if you’re a serious runner it is a theory worth trying out. If nothing less read the book, it is truly inspiring!!

What the hell are we doing here, Harry?!

It’s official- I am a blogger. I am not sure what this means but I am still excited!!! I decided to start this blog a few months ago. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I finally came up with the perfect name, “My Life Not Wasted”. It seemed for the first time in my life that real life had finally begun. Before I was always waiting to get through something, for something to start or stop- and then life would begin. But, then I realized THIS was my life and I had better start living it. I don’t want to look back one day and wonder how amazing life could of been. I needed to get out there and make it amazing!!!

So there I was- vacationing in Thailand with some of my good friends. I remember sitting outside one night, looking out into the ocean and really thinking about what I wanted out of life. Don’t get me wrong- my life was far from what most people would consider “bad”. However, I felt unfulfilled which really confused me. I have an amazing son that will no doubt grow into a great man. I started a small but successful business with one of my best friends. I travel to places that I only dreamt about as a child. I have amazing friends that are not only supportive but my biggest fans. So why was I feeling so unfulfilled? I don’t want to seem ungrateful- most people would LOVE my life. And I did- but I didn’t. To me it was mediocre- I was just existing. So I promised myself that when I returned from Thailand that I would search out my “happy”. I would find what I wanted in life. And when I did – I would put everything I was into it. So this blog is more about my journey than anything else. It is about finding myself. It is about finding my passion and never letting go. It is about trying new things, being open to new ideas and people, exploring and just living…..My Life Not Wasted.